Mar 16, 2011

C-O-N! F-I-D! E-N. C.E.

I guess there were always clues. Like, when I was a baby I would cry unless my mom was holding me. And in elementary school I was really, really shy.

I started becoming interested in theater in high school. I didn't get any major parts. I tried out for my high school's improv troupe and I almost didn't make the cut. 

Inside, I didn't feel a lack of confidence. I was just keenly aware of what other people thought of me and I was always comparing myself to those around me.

I was chosen to perform with my community college's improv troupe. Once, I was asked to sit out of a show. It was all very humbling...

And now that I'm taking this improv course from Improv-abilities, and really (like, REALLY) looking inside myself to work on the things I need most... I'm realizing that I need to build some self-confidence. Which came as a SHOCK to me. I mean, seriously... I thought I had the confidence thing down. But I don't. And it's the root of pretty much all of my problems in an improv scene:
  • I'm vague. I say things like, "this" or "that" or "my magazine". I won't name it! Or give details. Or make a decision.
  • I panic when the audience is silent. Why aren't they laughing? Was it not funny? Did I do something wrong?
  • I overthink and underthink. I start self-editing before my brain even has a chance to complete a thought or I just force myself to go with it and low-brow stuff comes out.
  • I struggle with the "AND" of the "Yes-And" philosophy. I'm all about the idea, YES! But I have no follow-up. (See 1st and previous bullet points.)
We've started doing a "cool-down" period in Holy Cow meetings where we each go around and say something we did well and something we want to work on for next time. Here are my "did wells" and "need works":

3-1-11:
Did well: miming work and feeling comfortable on stage
Need work: giving out information confidently

3-8-11:
Did well: reacting honestly
Need work: continuing to react honestly & with confidence

3-15-11:
Did well: feeling confident
Need work: showing confidence through adding details and not being vague.

Notice a theme? I did! So...how to fix that?

1 comment:

Scott said...

Read a book, take a vacation, test-drive somebody else's hobby, get out of your everyday comfort zones. I find that when I'm switching it up in my real life, I have more specifics at front-of-mind to pull from on the fly in a scene.